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11-Jul-2017 19:51

“I know you really want to have a play date with Sarah this weekend and we’ll do our best to make that happen. ” This statement, while said with good intentions, actually has the opposite effect you’re hoping for. Either way, you’re not getting the result you want and you’re damaging your connection with your child. ” after performing a task you’ve asked them for, they assume that they’re only “good” because they’ve done what you’ve asked.

” Be sure you really are doing your best if you say you will too. And by encouraging his emotional expression, you’re helping him learn to regulate his emotions, which is a crucial skill that will serve him throughout life. This teaches children that anything is a “good job” when mom and dad say so (and only when mom and dad say so). ” Threatening a child is almost never a good idea.

This teaches children to be more persistent when they’re attempting a difficult task and to see failure as just another step toward success invalidating your feelings.This kind of exchange can become a slippery slope and if used frequently, you’re bound to have it come back and bite you.



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